Look what I found!
Don't worry, I have hastily applied for my Heathen Certificate to annul it, but it did set me wondering about what the purpose of this document might be. Are people supposed to carry them around just in case they're ever accused of not partaking in a pointless ritual when they were too young to have any opinion on the matter? Do you have to flash them at the door before they let you into church on a Sunday, with the vicar playing the part of the sarcastic policeman?
"Left it at home, did you sir? How many times do you think I've heard that excuse? Step out of the building please and keep your hands where I can see them."
But really, what's the point of it? If I had died in my cot the following day were my parents supposed to wave it in the air like a winning lottery ticket exclaiming: "It's okay! It's fine! We got a deluded man to splash water on his head so he's not going to hell!"
Sorry you wasted your time, Edgar.
9 comments:
It's a lingering vestige of a time when the church had a civic, as well as pastoral, role. Keeping it around probably makes them feel like they still do. There's various civic functions the church seems intent on either usurping or retaining its grip on - marriage being the most obvious. I think laying claim to those roles probably just makes them feel good about themselves, though it's not a huge leap from that towards really grabbing power - as in their claimed responsibility, and claimed privilege and entitlement, in educating the nation's young. I was baptised; at least we moved when I was four else I'd have gone to a Catholic school as well. I suppose one day, when I've got the time, I should probably try to get myself excommunicated - be a laugh, wouldn't it?
Christ - does that scrawl say 10th May, Graham? If it does, then we share the same birth date!
barriejohn - stop it; you're just fuelling the conspiracy theorists who think I made you up!
What "conspiracy theorists", Graham? I thought you'd made up all of us!
BTW, I was talking to some astrology nut one day, who had a stall with the usual load of tat for sale, and was telling her what a load of rubbish all her silly beliefs really were (I have a natural gift for diplomacy!), when she asked me what my "sign" was. "Taurus", I replied. "Ah, yes", she came back, quick as a flash. "You wouldn't believe in it all - you're a typical Taurean!!"
Apropos Matt's comment here: Baptismal records are of some value to those who are researching their ancestry, as Church records are carefully looked after. And as regards getting oneself "excommunicated", there's no need for such drastic action (which could have far-reaching consequences for the soul!). One guy was so disturbed by the thought that he might still be classed as a C of E member that he arranged to have a "Debaptismal Certificate" drawn up (just recently) to prove that he is most emphatically NOT a Christian!!
I might have known it - you can actually download them from the internet! Just google "Debaptismal Certificate" and loads of info comes up!!!
You're spot on with what you say here, Graham, though you don't seem to realize it! When a cousin of mine sadly lost a baby boy shortly after birth, her whole family were practically ecstatic about the fact that the vicar had managed to get to the hospital and "baptize" the poor little thing before it died. Now, I was actually baptized myself as a teenager, but I was quite aware that the rite was purely symbolic, and that neither being immersed in water, as I was, nor having a few drops sprinkled on one's head, as in the case of this infant, could possibly guarantee a place in heaven. Yet this is PRECISELY what these deluded idiots believe!!
Blimey. I was never baptised (much like most Asian/mixed kids). Maybe hell is full of Asian people (or maybe that's just the BNP's vision of hell).
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