Although I appear to be a rather neglectful blog custodian, this is not entirely true. I think about posting quite often. In the past week or two I have come close to writing about the following things:
Semi-transparent leggings
Perhaps I completely missed it, but nobody else seems to be talking about semi-transparent leggings. WHY IS NO ONE ELSE TALKING ABOUT SEMI-TRANSPARENT LEGGINGS? Am I really the only person who has noticed them? Does no one else wring their eyes in utter disbelief when they see women / PRE-TEEN GIRLS WITH THEIR MOTHERS wearing them in public? If you haven't seen them, they are exactly as described. Gone, it seems, are the days when women worried about visible panty lines. Now they're happy to go out with - behold! - visible panties:
This is not an exaggeration. This is exactly what they look like. The first time I witnessed this I just felt sorry for the poor girl who had had her skirt stolen. Well, it seemed like the only rational explanation. But then, a week later, another girl. And another. It dawned on me that this was no tragic story of hit-and-run clothing theft; it was intentional. Even Lady fucking Gaga would blush. As if normal leggings - the single most unflattering item of women's clothing ever created - weren't bad enough! Words fail me.
Internet dating
On a cold evening in late December I momentarily considered internet dating as a genuine prospective activity for the new year. This had happened before but usually only lasted long enough to allow my better judgement to clear its throat, await my attention and then bellow: DON'T BE SO BLOODY RIDICULOUS. This time, however, the thought persisted and still hasn't gone away. Why not? Has my mind finally twigged that a lifetime alone might not be much fun? If so, serious resistance is being offered by years of self-conditioning. It's like those cartoons where a devil and an angel stand on each shoulder and slog it out.
A: Well it won't hurt to join for a month or so, just to see what happens. You're not obliged to take it any further. What's the problem?
D: YOU CAN'T EVEN TALK TO CHECKOUT GIRLS YOU LOSER!
A: If you don't make the effort now, you'll only regret it later on.
D: EVEN SEE-THROUGH LEGGINGS WEARERS HAVE TOO MUCH CLASS TO GO OUT WITH YOU!
If there's a ceasefire any time soon, I'll let you know.
Project 2010
I have, I'm fairly sure, decided what my next project is going to be. Remember Doormat Picnic, my ill-fated webcomic? Yeah, it was rubbish. But I know I can do a lot better. So now I'm planning to make a long comic book story without the time pressure of posting it online at regular intervals. That's it really. It does mean, however, that you're unlikely to see any evidence of my creative output for a while. (Stop cheering. It's rude.) Sorry, then, if you were holding out for the resumption of Creative Year 'cause it ain't gonna happen.
So yeah, I thought about posting on all of those subjects. Then I thought better of it.
8 comments:
I'd find your condemnation of see-through leggings more convincing if you'd bothered to explain where you got that picture from. The genuinely outraged seldom sneak up behind women to photograph their pants.
Where on Earth did you find (or take) that photograph?
Hmm, tineye.com drew a blank on the photo, I can only assume you have taken or scanned this!
Either that or it's related to the second subject in your post...
Sorry for the confusion. It's me, taken with self timer.
Wow, you really ought to post more often. So many talking points.
Let's start with the pants. First, what Matt said. Second, these have been around for a while haven't they? In general, girls have been wearing underwear as outwerwear for several years. Or else I used to go to racier clubs than I realised at the time. Third, seriously, whose arse have you been sneaking up on?
Internet dating. If you want my advice, do it, for these reasons at least: a) it's not the same as chatting up as you already both know why you're there so that's no excuse b) it's good practice. I went on loads of dates that were fine but there was no chemistry but by the time I met someone I really liked (not via the internet as it happened) I was all relaxed and comfortable with the whole dating thing so it went far better than it might have done otherwise and c) it'll be interesting. I peg you for the sort of person who's interested in other people and contrary to popular belief, women are people too!
Finally, good news about the comic book thing. Looking forward to it.
To be fair, checkout girls are pretty scary.
I reckon online dating is definitely a good idea - I know quite a few people who've had big successes. When I tried it - a few years ago now, but I'm assuming it hasn't changed much - it was easy to go at my own speed and figure out an approach that suited.
Looking forward to the comic!
I'm with Matt. Where on earth did you get that picture?!
Honestly. I try to raise awareness of a serious social issue and all anyone cares about is the sodding photograph.
Okay, here's the truth. I'm warning you though, it's a bit of a shocker.
There are pictures of ladies' bottoms on the internet.
No, I didn't credit the source but it's somewhere on Flickr. Somehow I don't think they'll mind.
Justin & Krypto - thanks. I think you're right.
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