The promised dating update will have to wait a bit longer, possibly forever, because it's proving harder than expected to write. Instead: TV!
Embarrassing Bodies is enjoying another run on Channel 4 at the moment. I've blogged about this programme before but I still find it remarkable that they have so many willing participants. Last Friday's show, for example, featured a man who was experiencing unpleasant odours emanating from his bottom. He bravely visited the clinic and said that he was worried about anal leakage. So far, so good. Boxes are being ticked here. The doctor duly prised open the man's buttocks and noted that he was 'quite dirty' before checking for possible causes. Some kind of infection? A loose sphincter? These were quickly ruled out. Soon, having found nothing wrong, he was forced to sheepishly announce to Mr Smelly Bum that his only problem was not wiping his arse properly.
Now: even allowing for the fact that he may have signed the release form prior to the examination, wouldn't you do everything in your power to stop that footage being used? Wouldn't you drop to your knees before the production team and offer to sacrifice your first born in exchange for the tape? I mean, if you're assisting the viewers by highlighting a genuine problem then I take my hat off to you, but this guy was essentially waving to the camera and saying "Hey, I’m a fifty year old man who can’t even wipe his arse! Why not stop me and say hi?" It would come as no surprise at all to me to hear that, following the broadcast, his entire family had gassed themselves out of shame in his (slightly whiffy) Ford Mondeo.
9 comments:
What I found incongruous about Embarrassing Bodies was the way they bleeped out the swearing when one of the doctors was being used as a guinea pig in a pain sensitivity test. There was another bloke on that episode whose arse was quite literally in tatters with anal fistulas, and that they quite merrily held spatchcock to the camera, but a few four-letter words flying out of the mouth of a bloke being burned in the name of science and out comes the bleep machine. I’m now waiting for one of their volunteers to report with suspected Tourette’s, then we can see how the censors deal with that one.
The arse-wiping demonstration was in Market Square in Nottingham – about 500m from where I used to live. I used to pass through it all the time and still go there reasonably often. Not sure I’ll ever look at it quite the same way again, though.
I'm worried now. I have not previously given this much thought but have I been doing it wrong all these years? What is the right way? The people of Nottingham have been given free education on this matter and yet I do not recall ever having been guided on this. Life is so difficult these days.
Everything about this story stinks!
Advice on wiping is all well and good, but ultimately it's just papering over the cracks.
Sorry, sorry - I know, I know. I'll get mi' coat...
Before you make an arse of yourself, Matt?
Matt - I'm not sure that intimate examinations and swearing can be put into the same bracket of censorship. I'm sure, for example, that you could say 'penis' on daytime Radio 4 but I doubt you could get away with 'cock'. Not in that context anyway.
Simon - relax, it wasn't that complicated. There was no bleach or scrubbing brushes.
barriejohn & Matt - now you're scraping the bottom (of the barrel).
Brilliant post which had me laughing a lot. I've always wondered why volunteers agree to be filmed too. They can't be paying them, can they?
I liked the fact that the doctor yelped when the sphincter squeezed his fat finger.
Does this mean if I get anally penetrated and do not consent I just have to squeeze for freedom?
My problem with the program is that Helen puts it on when we sit down to eat...
Don't watch the programme, though I'm sure it fills a gap in the education schedules. Hard to understand how a man can reach that age without knowing how to wipe his arse properly. Sadly, I can report that it's a common problem. Don't ask me how I know - that would be embarrassing.
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